friday celebrity-letter blogging

dear jim jarmusch,

hey. i haven't heard from you in a while, so i thought i would write and ask what you've been up to. have you seen any cool birds lately? i know that you're into birdwatching and all that. i'm not, really, but i'm a big fan of the tufted titmouse, i think it's supercute. do you see them ever? they look like this:


the tufted titmouse is my favorite bird. and guess what? there's another bird called the juniper titmouse. isn't that funny? it's like, if your favorite bird was the white-eyed vireo, and you found out there was a jarmusch vireo, you'd think it was pretty cool, i bet. the juniper titmouse looks like this:


compared to the tufted titmouse it looks kind of wild-eyed and disheveled, and that's how i look compared to most other girls, so i think that even though everyone says its name comes from its berry preference, i think really it's named after me. i'm not named after it, because my parents hate birds. one time i found a dead robin in the back yard and i picked it up and carried it all around and showed it where the good blackberries grew, and then i sat on my swing with it and sang to it, and my mom came outside and tried to take it away from me and throw it into the woods, but i wouldn't give it to her until my dad came home so we could bury it. it was missing an eye. maybe you could make a movie about that. it would be neat if bill murray could play my dad, they look a little bit alike. only my dad was kind of young then, so maybe it wouldn't work. or you and john lurie could make a tv show like fishing with john about birding instead of fishing. i'd totally watch it all the time.

chirp chirp,

juniper