things i overheard in public places

sound bites gathered between 4/19/05 and 9/9/05:

1. "i can't go to college without tetanus..."

2. "were you just going 'uuuuhhhhhnnnnhhhhhhhhhhh?'"
"no."
"oh, it was me."

3. "that olive oil's amazing stuff, huh?"
"milk and olive oil, that's all you need to survive."

4. "but why can't i have it? think about it, mommy, i'd look so beautiful in bed."

5. "the thing about her is that when she gets really drunk, this is what i know about deirdre, she wets her pants."
"her mother reminds me of the mom from 'babe'."
"'pig in the city'?"
"yeah."

6. "hey. hello? helllooo-oo? hey, blue house! hello?" (spoken by man on sidewalk facing a [brace yourself] blue house)

7. "can you tell me where 146 poplar street is?"
"sure. this is poplar street here, see, this street that you're on. do you see that building there behind me? that says it's number 120. now, if you go that way, the numbers are lower. like that one, it says 113. but if you go that way, they get higher. i can't see any of the numbers that way, but i'm pretty sure that they'd be, you know, 130, 140, so i'd say you should go that way and just, you know, keep your eyes open, watch for it."
"thank you so much! have a great night."
"sure, you're welcome. good luck."

8. "could i have that with two pieces of canadian bacon?"
"it comes with two pieces."
"then i shall have three."

9. "that's that candy bar with that commercial, you know the... my favorite line was 'one more than four, take five,' and then they took it out."
"they should have left it in. there isn't enough truth in advertising these days."

10. "i'm not really interested in eastern philosophy, but it's the only class like that that fit into my schedule."
"couldn't you have taken sociology for that credit?"
"no, sociology is, like, human. diversity is anything, you know, different from what people really do."