sunday best-of blogging: the "i'm cranky" issue

album i always want to listen to when wearing my peach wrap-around cardigan with the floral embroidery and sequined embellishments: seven swans, sufjan stevens. i can not begin to explain this.

most ridiculous automotive fact: my mechanic can not buy an oil pan for my 1995 dodge neon from a supplier, because the part is no longer manufactured. i'm pretty sure i don't have the lone existent neon, and if cars of this sort were going to need new parts they'd start doing it right around now, wouldn't they? so why would dodge tell us we can't have them? like we're all going to go out and buy new neons or something. if i had a 1949 mercury (and believe me, if wishes grew on trees i might) i would understand various parts for it being unprocurable, but that isn't at all the case. see? ridiculous. and i would never drive a mercury, those things suck gas like nobody's business . . . but damn, they're some sweet-ass rides:


most infuriating sound to be woken up by on a sunday morning: toadie's parrot's favorite toy is a small plastic frog with a mirror in its belly that makes what i assume is meant to be interpreted as a ribbiting sound whenever its head is pressed on. the ribbiting is not the infuriating sound, though; that sound is the one that's made by the hard plastic body banging against the floor and walls of the hallway outside my bedroom, where the bird most likes to play with his frog, maybe specifically because of the plastic-on-wood racket. what's really infuriating, though, is that toadie would never think that maybe it was a teensy bit impolite to set the bird loose in the hallway at seven o'clock on a sunday morning, or any morning, for that matter, and allow him to make all that noise. i would never do that to her, or to anyone. some people are so blind about their kids' bad habits, and their own.

most suspicious closing of a criminal investigation: oh, army, army, army. you're so dang skeptical.

the army closed a criminal investigation of abuse allegations by an iraqi detainee last year, finding no reason to believe his claims, even though no americans involved in the case were questioned, according to pentagon documents made public yesterday. internal army documents about the iraqi's capture on jan. 4, 2004, and his subsequent interrogation at an unspecified facility at or near baghdad international airport were not reviewed, the records show, because investigators were told they had been lost in a computer malfunction.

skeptical and conveniently disorganized. i'm a bit of a skeptic myself, though relative to slightly different points, as evidenced by my disbelieving italics. i don't have an objective problem with the military, but i do tend to bristle at people who assume they know everything before they've begun, with utter disregard for relevant evidence, as our army is wont to do. please stop treating us citizens like stupid, whining children. we recognize a supercilious brushoff when we see it.

best alito interview: nobody sticks it to 'em like fafblog. i've tried to stay abreast of the recent confirmation hearings, but it's tough for me to stay involved, what with it all seeming like a meaningless exercise the way it does. if fafnir had a news channel, though, it would be all i watched, except for sometimes the cartoon network and any channel airing svu, which i've recently been forced to proclaim myself powerless against. this, too, i am unable to explain.

weirdest partnering: that between starbucks corp. and lions gate entertainment corp., who have joined forces to market and distribute the movie akeelah and the bee, yet another heartwarming tale of a young spelling-bee champion. why were these things not popular when i was a kid? i'd have been a superstar. oh well. anyway, i think this is creepy. maybe i shouldn't, given the role of fast-food chains in pushing blockbuster paraphernalia on the impressionable masses, but i do. i think this quote is the one that really drove me over the edge:

"While we are a coffee company at heart, Starbucks provides much more than the best cup of coffee—we offer a community gathering place where people come together to connect and discover new things," said Howard Schultz, Starbucks chairman. "We are always looking for innovative ways to surprise and delight our customers, which is why we are so pleased to be working with Lionsgate on 'Akeelah and the Bee' as the first film to introduce to our customers."

oh, come on. here's what jarvis cocker and i think of you and your community gathering place, starbucks: grass is something you smoke, birds are something you shag, take your "year in provence" and shove it up your arse. you want our money and you'll shake us down every which way you can. well, i'm buying my espresso elsewhere, you shameless, heartless whores. nyah. p.s., your cds suck.

most despicable film adaptation: tristan and isolde, the wb rendition. i can't even force myself to learn enough about this movie to be able to criticize it effectively, i'm so angry. i'm so angry. how could you, kevin reynolds? you go to hell. you go to hell and you die. grrrrrrrrrr.

best act of rodent vengeance: monday morning, i heard a story on a local radio station (100.7, maybe? this is the classic rock station in boston, which, sadly enough for yours truly, now plays songs off of rem's automatic for the people. *sigh* i'm old.) about a very bad man who found a mouse in his house, captured it, took it outside and threw it into a pile of burning leaves in his backyard. bastard! i thought, and so did the mouse, i guess, who caught fire in the pile but did not go gentle into that good night and instead turned and ran back into the house, setting it righteously ablaze. do unto others, my friends; it's the only rule worth remembering.