oh cruel fate, how you mock me!

there are too many
people for those we meet not
to be the right ones.




since he came onto the scene, i have been referring to the new pope as joey ratz. it was instinctual, literally the first thing that came into my head. you know, he's a little sketchy, what with that stint with the nazi army and all, and have you seen the guy? i mean, have you gotten a really good look? he's like a fattened-up crypt keeper. granted, he did gather up the balls to quit the gang once the war was over and all, so maybe i'm not giving him enough credit for that, but that's not what i'm here to talk to you about today. i'm here to tell you that for four days every time someone mentioned the pope i said, "what, joey ratz?" and then, on thursday night...

*sigh*

if you are not familiar with my work, you should reference an earlier post titled "TALK SHOW JON" and then return to this page. really, go do that now. it's important to the plot.

so. on thursday night, jon stewart, who is NOT my husband, even though i've been in love with him for half my life, which is a hell of a lot more than his wife can say, jon stewart, my very most best beloved absolute favoritest jon stewart,

called him exactly that. pope joey ratz. this picture here was stolen right off the daily show website, and you can go there and see it for yourself if you don't believe me. now, i'm sure he and i aren't the only two people on the planet who thought it, but we're the only two i know of, and i think that counts for something.

there's no denying it. it's you and me, jonny. we're tied together like two tin cans on opposite ends of a tree house telephone, and beautiful little transmissions just like this one are running back and forth along our string all the time. someday we'll bump into each other in a bookstore and you'll say, "oh, do you like malcolm gladwell?" and i'll say, "GIVE ME THE DOLL, BITCH!!!!!"

and it'll be smooth sailing from there.