sunday best-of blogging: the tv issue
best opening theme song: the original tune written for the boondocks, which i really, really, really wish were a full-length song on a full-length album that i could buy. *ahem* HINT HINT
best presidential footage: the bit that's been all over the air of him spacing out on a dangling camera like a baby faced with a shiny mobile absolutely destroyed me, in several ways. i laughed, of course, to see w forget where he was when presented with a lone misplaced object, but it was painful too. i'm sure you understand.
worst name for a metal band: as i lay dying. i caught this band on the mtv2 resurrection of headbangers ball (yes, i sometimes watch headbangers ball; do you never yearn for the innocent days of your youth?) and thought i would give them a chance, but they do not deserve to be trotting this title out like a fancy lap dog. faulkner is whirling like a dervish on glass, i'm sure. for shame.
best network programming surprise: saturday night live is funny again! i hadn't watched it in eons (aside from the weekly update, which i can't resist, because i've had a crush on amy poehler since upright citizens' brigade) because it was so stilted and forced and unprofessional, but i tuned in last night to catch dane cook, whom i adore to no end and had missed when the show originally aired, and man, was i surprised. i don't know if it was due to his influence, because he can turn that shit around, but the skits seemed more uninhibited and inspired than they have in well over a decade. that bit about the talent show? things that defy description shot out my nose. i've been optimistic about the fate of the show recently because the cast members are truly talented, rachel dratch and maya rudolph in particular (maya has also done some great work for the also surprisingly hilarious show campus ladies), but i couldn't help feeling like the skits were just never going to top par, and there's nothing worse than a talented individual succumbing to his or her meritless environment. but i've been happily surprised, and i can only hope that this recent standard will be maintained*.
most unwatchable new television show: i have, all my life, longed to bludgeon lisa loeb with a cast-iron skillet. her music burst vessels in my eyes, her scrunchy nose and cutesy cat glasses curled my tiny nerdy hands into furious riot-grrrl fists, and possibly worst of all, she created an unshakeable personal aversion in me to brown university, the school whose radio station saved my life and whose campus i owe the majority of my happy teenage memories to. now, i thought her last show, dweezil and lisa, would successfully convince the public that she was in no way deserving of its attention, but the chipper little fungus is staining the media yet again with #1 single, which debuted this week on E!. here's the intro to the first show, as found on the show's own publicist-approved page:
oh, lisa. the song was always cringe-worthy; a karaoke version is probably the only truly fitting tribute, and i'm sure it's infinitely easier to listen to. i didn't want to watch, i swore i wouldn't watch, but i stumbled upon it completely by accident one afternoon and, as when watching an inevitable car crash play out from a distance, i was as horrified by my own inability to move or avert my eyes as i was by the fact that it was happening in the first place. while making kugel in her mother's kitchen, lisa weepily confesses that she used to look at the old people alone at parties and think to herself, wow, poor them, they're not married, how sad, and now (*sniffsniff*) she is one of those people (she's about thirty). when her mother cautions her against letting herself get trapped in another six-year relationship with mr. wrong, lisa assures her that she isn't staying with anyone else for six years unless she's getting married. ivy-league educated, successful (for a moment, anyhow) in a competitive artistic business, confidently kitschy, tall and not ugly and smarter than plenty of girls—life set lisa up to be the poster child for self-assured, independent, gen-x singer-songwriters, and here she is using what's left of her celebrity clout to engineer a high-profile private dating service, because she'd rather die than be single for one more second. it is great to be loved, lisa, and there's plenty to be said about the upside of being in a happy, committed relationship, but it is okay to be single at some point between the ages of 18 and 30, too. it can even be good for you. trust me.
girls named lisa, man. they're nothing but trouble.
worst commercial: the new zetia ad that features a wise old doctor meandering through the grounds of a hospital with his herd of bright-eyed young newbies wins for sheer awfulness, as its premise is nonsensical and we're beaten over the head with it for an interminable period. but honorable mention must go to the contact lens commercial where some whiny woman opens with a fully disqualifying statement along the lines of, "when my contact lenses are bothering me, i just can't go on with my day!" unbelievable. i wonder what would happen to her if we told her she had to drink full-fat lattes for the rest of the afternoon. you know what, honey? don't. don't go on with your day. the world doesn't need you.
most shocking project runway development: chloe broke unimaginably new ground this week by veering miles outside of her standard color palette of turquoise, black and beige to stun the world with this remarkable combination:
look at that chocolate brown! it's revolutionary! and that white is a very honest white—no beige in sight. no wonder the judges can't get enough of this girl. she's the only one who's keeping them on their toes.
* if you saw the show and thought it wasn't that funny, keep in mind that i had downed most of a very stiff tanqueray-and-tonic by the time it aired.
best presidential footage: the bit that's been all over the air of him spacing out on a dangling camera like a baby faced with a shiny mobile absolutely destroyed me, in several ways. i laughed, of course, to see w forget where he was when presented with a lone misplaced object, but it was painful too. i'm sure you understand.
worst name for a metal band: as i lay dying. i caught this band on the mtv2 resurrection of headbangers ball (yes, i sometimes watch headbangers ball; do you never yearn for the innocent days of your youth?) and thought i would give them a chance, but they do not deserve to be trotting this title out like a fancy lap dog. faulkner is whirling like a dervish on glass, i'm sure. for shame.
best network programming surprise: saturday night live is funny again! i hadn't watched it in eons (aside from the weekly update, which i can't resist, because i've had a crush on amy poehler since upright citizens' brigade) because it was so stilted and forced and unprofessional, but i tuned in last night to catch dane cook, whom i adore to no end and had missed when the show originally aired, and man, was i surprised. i don't know if it was due to his influence, because he can turn that shit around, but the skits seemed more uninhibited and inspired than they have in well over a decade. that bit about the talent show? things that defy description shot out my nose. i've been optimistic about the fate of the show recently because the cast members are truly talented, rachel dratch and maya rudolph in particular (maya has also done some great work for the also surprisingly hilarious show campus ladies), but i couldn't help feeling like the skits were just never going to top par, and there's nothing worse than a talented individual succumbing to his or her meritless environment. but i've been happily surprised, and i can only hope that this recent standard will be maintained*.
most unwatchable new television show: i have, all my life, longed to bludgeon lisa loeb with a cast-iron skillet. her music burst vessels in my eyes, her scrunchy nose and cutesy cat glasses curled my tiny nerdy hands into furious riot-grrrl fists, and possibly worst of all, she created an unshakeable personal aversion in me to brown university, the school whose radio station saved my life and whose campus i owe the majority of my happy teenage memories to. now, i thought her last show, dweezil and lisa, would successfully convince the public that she was in no way deserving of its attention, but the chipper little fungus is staining the media yet again with #1 single, which debuted this week on E!. here's the intro to the first show, as found on the show's own publicist-approved page:
Meet Lisa. She lives in Los Angeles with a quirky collection of gnomes and Hello Kitty dolls. The singer-songwriter is single for the first time in about 12 years, but she's hoping a serious dating blitz will soon turn up her soul mate--she hasn't managed to meet any eligible guys on tour.
Her sister Debbie Loeb thinks all Lisa really needs is a good push-up bra. The problem is, date number one, Steve, seems barely worth a sports bra. He doesn't eat vegetables (don't ask) and serenades Lisa with a cringe-worthy karaoke version of her own hit "Stay."
oh, lisa. the song was always cringe-worthy; a karaoke version is probably the only truly fitting tribute, and i'm sure it's infinitely easier to listen to. i didn't want to watch, i swore i wouldn't watch, but i stumbled upon it completely by accident one afternoon and, as when watching an inevitable car crash play out from a distance, i was as horrified by my own inability to move or avert my eyes as i was by the fact that it was happening in the first place. while making kugel in her mother's kitchen, lisa weepily confesses that she used to look at the old people alone at parties and think to herself, wow, poor them, they're not married, how sad, and now (*sniffsniff*) she is one of those people (she's about thirty). when her mother cautions her against letting herself get trapped in another six-year relationship with mr. wrong, lisa assures her that she isn't staying with anyone else for six years unless she's getting married. ivy-league educated, successful (for a moment, anyhow) in a competitive artistic business, confidently kitschy, tall and not ugly and smarter than plenty of girls—life set lisa up to be the poster child for self-assured, independent, gen-x singer-songwriters, and here she is using what's left of her celebrity clout to engineer a high-profile private dating service, because she'd rather die than be single for one more second. it is great to be loved, lisa, and there's plenty to be said about the upside of being in a happy, committed relationship, but it is okay to be single at some point between the ages of 18 and 30, too. it can even be good for you. trust me.
girls named lisa, man. they're nothing but trouble.
worst commercial: the new zetia ad that features a wise old doctor meandering through the grounds of a hospital with his herd of bright-eyed young newbies wins for sheer awfulness, as its premise is nonsensical and we're beaten over the head with it for an interminable period. but honorable mention must go to the contact lens commercial where some whiny woman opens with a fully disqualifying statement along the lines of, "when my contact lenses are bothering me, i just can't go on with my day!" unbelievable. i wonder what would happen to her if we told her she had to drink full-fat lattes for the rest of the afternoon. you know what, honey? don't. don't go on with your day. the world doesn't need you.
most shocking project runway development: chloe broke unimaginably new ground this week by veering miles outside of her standard color palette of turquoise, black and beige to stun the world with this remarkable combination:
look at that chocolate brown! it's revolutionary! and that white is a very honest white—no beige in sight. no wonder the judges can't get enough of this girl. she's the only one who's keeping them on their toes.
* if you saw the show and thought it wasn't that funny, keep in mind that i had downed most of a very stiff tanqueray-and-tonic by the time it aired.
Labels: antigirly, best-of blogging, tv
posted by juniper pearl @ 1:42 PM
1 Comments:
At 3:31 AM,
femme feral said…
right on about lisa loeb. that show looks embarassingly stupid.
Post a Comment
<< Home