you killed the minimum wage increase! YOU BASTARDS!

WASHINGTON - the republican-controlled senate smothered a proposed election-year increase in the minimum wage wednesday, rejecting democratic claims that it was past time to boost the $5.15 hourly pay floor that has been in effect for nearly a decade.

the 52-46 vote was eight short of the 60 needed for approval under budget rules and came one day after house republican leaders made clear they do not intend to allow a vote on the issue, fearing it might pass.

the senate vote marked the ninth time since 1997 that democrats there have proposed - and republicans have blocked - a stand-alone increase in the minimum wage. the debate fell along predictable lines.

"americans believe that no one who works hard for a living should have to live in poverty. a job should lift you out of poverty, not keep you in it," said sen. Edward M. Kennedy, d-mass. he said a worker paid $5.15 an hour would earn $10,700 a year, "almost $6,000 below the poverty line for a family of three."

now, i never really believed that the increase would pass, just like i don't really believe that all of that recycling i take the time to wash and separate every week ends up anywhere other than on a garbage barge headed for some impoverished nation where $5.15 an hour is an unattainable eden. but i keep on washing and separating it, just like i keep on hoping people will get it together and do right by each other. and so does ted kennedy. look, look how sad he is:

that is the face of a man who can no longer see the sense in fighting the good fight. i know, because i make it every time i rinse out a plastic cup. but the day i don't rinse out the cup is the day i realize i have nothing to live for, and that's what it'll say on my suicide note: "i decided to stop rinsing out the cup." and if teddy could see my suck-it-up-and-keep-recycling-you-crybaby face, he'd recognize that expression, too; it's the one he was wearing when he said this:

"when the democrats control the senate, one of the first pieces of legislation we'll see is an increase in the minimum wage."

you and me, teddy bear. we are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams. you should come over some time and lick some wallpaper with me. i think you'll especially like the mural of the current republican majority beating a gaggle of malnourished children away from a mound of food and clothing; the heartless fuckers taste like heartless fuckers.