i am a pretentious hack.

       i'm not dead!

Monday, April 09, 2007

monday punch-in-the-face blogging

this is a very important headline about breaking news:

FOXNEWS.COM HOME > SCIENCE

Deforestation May Add to Climate Changes

Monday, April 09, 2007
By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, AP Science Writer

it is breaking my head. it is exploding my skull into all sorts of bits and shards that are flying about the room and lodging themselves in the walls and file cabinets and cheaply upholstered desk chairs. but before i succumb to my wounds i would like to draw your attention to the directory line preceding the very important headline, which, if you'll notice, tells us the most important thing of all:

fox news is greater than science. it beats it like a rock beats scissors. now, i recognize that this is an ap article and has been published in all sorts of news forums aside from those overseen by fox, and that's why i'm not going to pound fox, or anyone, into a mushy, fittingly contrite pulp. i'm just going to sit here and watch the bone fragments and gray matter ricochet around the office until my vision fades.

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