friday celebrity-letter blogging

dear ralph nader,

my articles editor told me this week that he was a year behind you in college at princeton and was very impressed by your investigations into the goings-on in the campus kitchen. he didn't mention your attempts to reveal the chilling impact of ddt; i suppose he wasn't aware of them, seeing as how you were laughed out of the campus newspaper office when you spoke up about your ideas. anyhow, this means that i am now separated from jon stewart by only two degrees, and this makes me very happy. i'm sorry so many americans still blame you for making bush president instead of blaming themselves for having hard-ons for tax breaks, and i hope people are saying lots of nice things about your movie.

buckle up,

juniper