overheard in the office: the tragicomic banter of boston's finest

"i like ellen--as long as she keeps the gay stuff out of it, i like her fine. i don't care for the gay stuff. i'm an old-fashioned girl, and i say she needs to get back into the closet where she belongs. narrow-minded of me, i know, but i don't care. i'm trying to be a better person, but it isn't working."

oh, honey, we know you're trying. you're trying so hard it hurts. of course, it mostly hurts me, but still . . .