so torn . . .

i can't decide if i want you all to watch my boyfriend tonight on the colbert report or not. i don't need a million irreverent-sass-loving viewers falling for him and challenging me to dance-offs and scrabble tournaments in his honor . . . but he wouldn't go on tv so he could not be seen . . .

fuck it. i can take you. watch, damn it. watch hard. and know that i have memorized every two-letter word in the dictionary, and i am not afraid of you, and i will beat your ass.