ap strikes again!

from a recent news piece on the paternity of anna nicole smith's baby girl, who has been determined to be the daughter of larry birkhead (mostly determined? as the dna analyst put it, birkhead is "essentially" the biological father, whatever the hell that means):

Smith's lawyer-turned-companion has been caring for baby Dannielynn since her sudden death in February.

how delightfully "rose for emily" of him. i bet all of you thought the worst smell a baby could produce would emanate from a diaper, but howard k. stern, courageous do-gooder that he is, wants you to know that while that is not the case, the way the baby seems to smile as her slowly wizening lips peel back from her ashen gums makes it all worthwhile.

for pete's sake, people. it's like you're not even trying. but then, this is the first article on the case that i've actually read all the way through; perhaps the public's attention has waned to a virtually nonexistent nubbin as well, and this is how you are reeling them back in. in that case you may have not only tried but succeeded, and i should applaud you. but i will not applaud you, because i hate you. news. feh.

mummified babies, on the other hand, are the bees' blessed knees.