the skeksis are draining my essence! MY ESSENCE!!! NOOOOOOO!!!
so, karl rove has been drafted to head the post-katrina reconstruction effort, and lots of people are wondering, you know, what the hell that's all about. well, i won't lie to you, folks, i was a tad befuddled by it myself. isn't karl rove primarily a pr-bot? does he have any non-image-oriented leadership experience at all? as deputy chief of staff, he does coordinate the policies of the homeland security council, but, frankly, those policies haven't done anything for miss jackson lately. he's an organizer, to be sure, but one of catchphrases, partisan rallying, and smear campaigns, not honest labor-intensive efforts. will he rebuild the coastlines with his kidney stones? could we count on him to craft a straight-flying paper airplane? has he ever even held a garden trowel in his alabaster, baby-smooth hands?
fear not, my little chickens! i have here a glowing list of captain turd blossom's previous positions, all of which speak to his incontrovertible worthiness:
• chief strategist for the bush-cheney 2000 presidential campaign
• president of a public affairs firm
• member of the board of international broadcasting
• member of the board of the mcdonald observatory
• teacher at the lbj school of public affairs
• teacher in the journalism department at the university of texas, austin
ha! oh, wait, that's not . . . hang on . . . (*shuffleshuffleshuffle* hey, does one of you guys have the list? the rove list? no, this isn't it, this is just a lot of pr and board-member crap. what? you're kidding me. well, so, what . . . ? oh, screw it.)
hmmm. i guess this really is the list that bush and his bushy bushmen were looking at when they made their decision. my brain says, rise up and riot! holler your righteous dissent! do not let this administration put one more unqualified invertebrate in a top position! but my body says, eh, what's the point. so futile... so weak... and so, as you can see, the thing about karl rove that makes him king of the mountain time and time again, in the face of any and all defensible, well-backed arguments, is his ability to do this:
go ahead, fight it. i dare you.
fear not, my little chickens! i have here a glowing list of captain turd blossom's previous positions, all of which speak to his incontrovertible worthiness:
• chief strategist for the bush-cheney 2000 presidential campaign
• president of a public affairs firm
• member of the board of international broadcasting
• member of the board of the mcdonald observatory
• teacher at the lbj school of public affairs
• teacher in the journalism department at the university of texas, austin
ha! oh, wait, that's not . . . hang on . . . (*shuffleshuffleshuffle* hey, does one of you guys have the list? the rove list? no, this isn't it, this is just a lot of pr and board-member crap. what? you're kidding me. well, so, what . . . ? oh, screw it.)
hmmm. i guess this really is the list that bush and his bushy bushmen were looking at when they made their decision. my brain says, rise up and riot! holler your righteous dissent! do not let this administration put one more unqualified invertebrate in a top position! but my body says, eh, what's the point. so futile... so weak... and so, as you can see, the thing about karl rove that makes him king of the mountain time and time again, in the face of any and all defensible, well-backed arguments, is his ability to do this:
go ahead, fight it. i dare you.
posted by juniper pearl @ 1:23 PM
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