why i will never have a child, part nineteen trillion and three

so, i'm watching this episode of primetime about the sickest, most insane, most unfathomable story i've ever heard, and it's got me half ready to vomit into my own lap and half ready to hit the streets with a flame thrower. i know that a lot of people are quite intelligent, but apparently at least as many people are just dying to prove that they're dumb as rocks. how does a thing like this happen in real life? anyone? how does somebody's teenage daughter wind up naked in the back room of a mcdonald's, where her middle-aged female manager has her convinced that it isn't deranged for a police officer to order a strip search over the flipping phone? and it isn't like this was the only time something like this happened. even if the dolts involved in these incidents believed that they were actually dealing with police officers, in what disgusting world do we unquestioningly submit to these kinds of orders, even from police officers, especially ones who aren't in the room? whatever, man, i can't think about this anymore tonight, i'm going to have enough nightmares as it is. i just thought you all might like to know why i'm having my uterus removed and stored in a vault, where i can have it periodically milked for hormones.