monday punch-in-the-face blogging: the office issue

my office, that is. i'm sure plenty of you are living placid, sociable lives in which you never long to kick down a cubicle wall and assault a co-worker. but i'm not you. wrote a song about it--like to hear it? here it goes:

1. "i can't understand why people in massachusetts won't come to their senses and do something about those awful democrats. they're ruining everything."

2. "i got a cv today from dr. beaver [prurient snicker]. he really missed his calling, not becoming an ob/gyn [full-out chortle]." this speaker is about seventy years old; this joke shouldn't be funny to anyone over the age of twelve.

3. "my dentist is an asian woman. she has a really good sense of humor, which is unusual for asians." this comment was also made, verbatim, approximately three weeks earlier.

4. "is shelby a democrat now?"
"well, she's in college; need i say more? she's being exposed to all kinds of horrible ideas."

5. "mark wahlberg is the LOVE OF MY LIFE. but i refuse to watch boogie nights, even though i own it."