sobriety: responsible choice or divisive barrier?

today we should all take a moment to offer thanks to the stoic americans who quashed the temperance movement, leaving the door splintered and dangling tenuously from its hinges for us to make any occasion to drink a national holiday and any national holiday a prerequisite for getting wringably sodden. despite the nation's growing ire regarding its influx of mexican immigrants, no one seems to have any problem knocking back a sixer of corona on cinco de mayo. maybe the idea is that if we take the occasion to remind them how strong and free of frenchmen their own country is, they'll go back to it. but perhaps it's a sign that our society is preparing to turn the corner into a more tolerant age; after all, it was the festive air of st. patrick's day that finally drove american business owners to take down their "no irish need apply" signs in the late 1800s--well, that and the growing numbers of jews and italians. happily, the new enemies also became friends, when we realized pizza and bagels were awesome and that after a couple of glasses of wine they were happy to admit that even they didn't like mexicans. and soon we will embrace the mexicans as well, because they have given us an excuse to get blindingly drunk without having to wait the full ten weeks between st. patrick's day and memorial day (here in massachusetts we have long since granted ourselves the mid-april reprieve of patriots' day, but that only whets our thirst), and because they are not muslims. who could ever expect us to forgive a religion that forbids alcohol? it's an insane request that will leave the islamic public forever on the fringes of this great nation. the rest of us, though, can always, and perhaps only, band together in hatred--crazy, bleary-eyed, liquor-soaked hatred.

anyway. today is also my beautiful part-syrian, part-jewish, part-portuguese mother's birthday, and i'm sure my irish-catholic dad is drinking something stiff in her honor or just for the hell of it, because he knows that americans fought for his right to do so, just like they fought for his right to be a blindly nationalistic bigot. please think of my mum fondly when making your toasts today; her saintly patience has prevented countless wars and probably a fair amount of bloodshed, and if repeal day is what it takes to remind the people who know her that there is more than one important day in december, well, i'll absolutely drink to that.